Sometimes the mind wonders why can't children remain children forever? Instead of growing up and joining the world of adults where nothing is certain and almost everything is twisted beyond comprehension. Wouldn't it be nicer if children are able to stay young forever? Then you wouldn't need photographs to remind yourself of how cute they used to be, or how adorable they used to act. There are times when I wish I was still a child. Living in a world where everything is perfect and nothing can ever go wrong. A world where I don't have to deal with problems, be it financial or career or even matters of the heart. It is a common believe that you have to go through hardship in order to attain that goal. But what is my goal? What is my motivation? Somehow I am not able to see anything more than 2 minutes into my future. What is my silver lining? I used to think I know what it is and what I'm hoping for, but right now, what is hope, even? It is the only medicine for the miserable, so they say. But isn't medicine supposed to make you feel good? My hope is only causing me more and more misery. What is more miserable than hoping? The inability to give up hoping. Wouldn't it be easier if I can just say adios and embark on the next episode? Unfortunately for me, I just can't seem to give up. Perhaps when God made me, He opted not to instill in me the courage to give up. The ability to say that's it I've had enough. But then again, He does know better. Perhaps I can't give up because of that pot of gold waiting for me at the end of the rainbow. If I had the nerve to give up, I'd probably never live to see the pot of gold. Although at this point, the proverbial pot of gold is seeming farther and farther out of reach. It's just a blur right now. A dot if you may. A tiny dot on the far end of the horizon. Almost like a mirage. Everytime I think I've got it, it disappears. And that leaves me frustrated. Time and again. How much more can a person take? The way I see it, I'm like a tourist on planet earth. Just passing through. Observing. Looking at life from the outside. I'm just watching the world go by....
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