Terlanjur Bicara....

Had a long, busy day at work today. Was looking forward to heading back to Kota Damansara and meet up with Ako for drinks and catching up. But just before I nak leave the office ni, kena lah ada benda yang jadi that is making me feel like banging my head against the wall.

In all honesty, I just don't have any more tears to cry. Yes I feel the pain. But it's nothing new dah. Apa-apa ja lah. Say what you want. You have the right to. Nobody controls your life.

Kesempurnaan wanita terletak pada mata yang melihat dan hati yang menilai. Andainya baik baginya, maka baiklah. Buruk baginya, maka buruklah.

Whatever lah...as I said say what you want. As for me, right now I just want to go and meet up with Ako and forget all my troubles.

Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata? Hmm.... ada lah hati yang terluka...

Yang lama dijaga rapi, yang baru adakalanya tidak dipeduli. Dibetulkan juga yang lama. Dipelihara bagaikan menatang minyak yang penuh. Walhal yang dipelihara dan dijaga itu tak semestinya yang terbaik. Tapi apakan daya, hati dah terpaut pada yang lama. Yang baru tak mahu dilepaskan, tapi yang lama juga masih dalam genggaman. Bila yang baru terguris, dipertahankan juga yang lama. Bila yang baru menangis? Dilempar pula ungkapan yang pedih.

Jawabnya belilah ubat kuning dan plaster sendiri kat farmasi, lepas tu balut luka tu sendiri... Senang cerita!

Tuah & Teja's Weekend...

Although my weekend did not really turn out as planned; work stuff cropped up and I couldn't stick to my original plan of driving back to my hometown, it still turned out rather beautifully. Was at work on Friday, but we did manage to get in a couple of hours of dating, and on Saturday we managed to spend some time together.

We decided to act like tourists and headed to Aquaria in KLCC. Had a blast although I think Aquaria overcharges. When the whole thing was over, we were both like, that's it?? I only saw the sharks for a while. It was kinda cute when he started humming the Jaws theme song when we were in that underwater tunnel thing. Would have loved to dive in with them! Although he was already squinting his eyes at me when I said I wanted to do that. You only live once, right?! So what the hell, dive in!

And here we have Mr Tuah with the piranhas! They didn't look as vicious as they did in the movie...

On Saturday, we went out for lunch and a bit of grocery shopping. Lunch was good although the food could have been better. I always select the wrong restaurants! Looks can be deceiving!

Don't let his look of enjoyment fool you... it doesn't take much to please my man, food-wise. He's not a picky eater, unlike yours truly...

I had the Nasi Putih Sambal Sotong with Belacan Long Beans. Sounds good, doesn't it? Well it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that great either. He had some noodle soup thingy which was kinda bland. The restaurant at fault here was Wang Cafe in Dataran Sunway.

After grocery shopping, he headed back and I headed for Mid Valley. Did some serious shopping. Therapeutic indeed! Of course the crowd was not that therapeutic. And the massive traffic outside Mid Valley. I ended up handing my car over to the Valet Parking. God bless them! Bought me a pair of shoes from NOSE! Lovin' it! 4-inch heels! Tuah tenggelam next to me! Can't wear it on dates! And then while I was shopping I came across a booth selling something which brought me back to my school days. I decided what the hell, what better occasion to behave like a school kid again. So I threw caution to the wind, personalized it and bought it. Now I wear it with much pride! Hahahah! Although I still feel very much like a budak sekolah, but what the hell lah kan?!

This has got to be the most pointless posting in the history of blogposts! Oh well, I just felt like sharing... So what the heck... Will try to get back to my philosophical self in the next one... For now, welcome to the blonde side of me...

Grow up already.......!

Some people really have to learn to be modest. I don't care if you get to have lunch with the King on a daily basis, or Obama calls you every night before he goes to bed, or Sharon Stone thinks you're the best sex she's ever had! Quit mentioning it over and over again! It gets pretty nauseating after the third time of hearing the same thing!

And they can be so oblivious too! I mean every time I see this dude, and there's someone there with us, he keeps regaling what he does as though he's the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Sikit-sikit sudahlah!

As I said, I don't care if you ARE the greatest thing since sliced bread, I'm just not bothered. Tell me once and I will remember it and probably find you amazing, but repeat it over and over again and you're nothing more than just a sad braggart!

Get a life!

Models Would Kill For My Metabolism...

I am thin. Deal with it. I have.

Anyway, to those of you who know me personally, you would have noticed this teeny tiny detail. To those of you who don't know me personally, I am thin.

Why am I repeating the word thin?

That is because when you're thin, that means your biological food storage system would naturally be smaller than the average joe.

I really get stressed out when people bising kat I when I don't finish my food. I get even more stressed out when they say things like, "Orang kat Ethiopia tu tak cukup makan. Bagi habis lah what's left on your plate."

So basically because the people in Ethiopia are suffering, I have to force-feed myself?!? And after that, when my system begins to reject everything and I puke it all out, the Ethiopians would somehow have suffered less????!?!??!

I don't mean to sound mean. What I'm trying to get across is please try to understand that I can't eat as much as other people. I only have to eat a bit to already feel stuffed beyond my wits. Only on some very highly rare occasions will I find myself melantak-ing. But that doesn't happen very often.

So take a good look at my weight.

Stop forcing me to go beyond my limits.

I am thin.

And I love it!

Baby, You're The Right Kind Of Wrong....

The Thinker

How do you know when you've found the right person? This has been an age-old question; throughout the centuries people have been pondering over this and yet no one has been able to come up with a conclusive answer. We've seen scientists, philosophers, great thinkers over the span of eras discovering gravity, the circumference of the moon, inventing the telephone and countless other things that at some point were unthinkable and yet no one has even come close to answering this one simple question. Some say that if you still have to ask that question then that means you haven't found the right person. Is that it? Is that the measure? Is that the ultimate answer to this pertinent question?

Many have tried to decipher it. Books have been written. Men are from mars, women are from venus, and yet it remains a secret. If only there is a certain gauging tool, a factual answer to it, then perhaps there will be less divorces on the streets. But to this day, it remains to be one of the mysteries of the universe.

Life is the answer. Experience it and you shall see. No heads up. No hints at the beginning. Hit the road, Jack and may the force be with you.

I have had a serious relationship before. It was so serious we were already planning our retirement. So serious that when it ended I thought my life was coming to an end. And then I saw the light. I was in the middle of the tunnel. Everything was bleak. The future was nothing more than a black hole.


But suddenly there was a light. It showed me that my world was not ending; at least not yet. I scrambled my way out of the seemingly endless black hole I was falling into. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel came to me when I was clambering for help. My lungs were screaming out for air. My eyes were suddenly able to adjust to the bleakness of it all and I saw that hope was not at a total loss after all.

And I finally managed to put the whole mess behind me. I was finally able to say "Screw you. I was not the only who messed this up. It takes two to tango. And in this case, it took two to make a crap out of the relationship." And I moved on.

But I still haven't found the answer to the question. I was not able to answer it back then and I still can't answer it now. However I found something else instead. I realized that answering that question is not the be all and end all of it.

How do you know when you've found the right person?

I am done trying to figure it out. Why waste time pondering over something that is obviously bigger than me? Something no one has managed to figure out. Who am I to answer this when I'm sure even Plato gave up on it?

So I came to the realization of something else instead.

He makes me smile when I'm sad. He makes me laugh with his jokes. He makes me cry when we fight (that's a good thing because if I don't cry then that means I don't care enough about the relationship to hurt over our arguments.). He makes me nescafe when I'm down. He takes care of my car better than I would ever bother to. He sends me prepaid credit when I'm desperately in need to make a call or send a text. He takes me to the clinic when I'm sick. He is willing to go shoe shopping with me. He insists that I lock the car before I drive off. He endures my temper tantrum. He entertains my whining. He cares enough to buy me roses that match my desk at work.

No he doesn't say I love you on a regular basis. No he doesn't write me love poems every other day. No he doesn't send me letters everyday. He doesn't even call me in the middle of the day just to say that he misses me. He doesn't come to my office with his guitar to serenade me. He doesn't take me out to a candlelit dinner by the beach. And of course he has not gotten down on one knee to propose.

But I don't care. Because the things that he actually does do are the things that is making me miss him whenever I'm not with him. They make me think of him before I go to bed at night. They make me want to be with him all the time. They make me want to blog about my feelings on a daily basis.

And the flowers sitting on my desk make coming to work less tiresome.

So who cares if i know whether or not I have found the right person?

I know I have found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. Is he right? Who's to say that he's wrong? Right or wrong is very subjective.

Hang Tuah dan Tun Teja

Datuk Laksamana Hang Tuah dalam buku Sejarah Melayu did not end up with Tun Teja. He did not even end up with Puteri Gunung Ledang. God knows who he married. Datok Chamil Wariya reported in his book that Hang Tuah had kids but there was no mention of who his wife was. Perhaps he did marry Teja. Perhaps secretly they ran off together and got hitched. Who knows? Hang Tuah definitely did not know who was right for him; apatah lagi kita ni?

No matter how long you may know a person; no matter how well you may think you know them, there's just no telling whether they are right for you or not. What you do know is whether you're comfortable with them or not. Whether they are willing to go the distance for you or not. Whether they are willing to nurse you when you are sick or not. Whether they would take the trouble to come to your aid. Whether they would tolerate your crap. Whether they would find you Ais Kacang bungkus in the middle of the night. Whether they would spend the night at the hospital to keep your ailing father company.

It's not about right or wrong. It's never about right or wrong. It's not even about time. 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 16 years....

(kenapa I letak gambar penyanyi ni?? Hmmmm........)

Sometimes you just have to know where to look. More often than not the very thing you're looking for is right there in front of you. Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side, but have you taken the time to actually look properly in your own backyard? Perhaps there's a beautiful pink rose there which is much better than what's on the other side.

"Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you"

Thinking of You.......

Do you ever sometimes in the middle of the day, as you're staring blankly at the computer at work, forcing your mind to focus on your work, trying to type out something productive, but you find yourself thinking of that one person who makes your heart smile? And how you wish that you could just run out for a while to see him? And then all the stress of the day just wears off?

Well I'm having that feeling right now. I can't wait to see him later this evening. I can't wait to see the glint in his eyes, the smile on his face. And then I just know that all my stress would melt away.

"And everytime I close my eyes,
I thank the Lord that I've got you babe,
And you've got me too,
And everytime I think of it I pinch myself 'coz,
I can't believe it's true,
That someone like you,
Loves me too......."

Disclaimer: Lama tak letak posting mushy-mushy ni! Saja tetiba in the mood!

More Roses!

On Tuesday, a bouquet of pink flowers were delivered to my desk at work! That really took me surprise considering the fact that all my life I've never had any roses delivered to me, ever! This bouquet was huge! Waay bigger than the previous one!

Bunga memujuk lah katakan! But it was sooo sweet. I mean who would've thought, Mr Macho and Cool himself would actually call up a florist and give descriptions for a bouquet of pink roses to be delivered to his girlfriend's office! Dah tak jadi lah nak marah lama-lama..

As you can see from the card, siapa lagi Mr Macho kalau bukan Datuk Laksamana Hang Tuah! Pening gaklah orang delivery tu nak mencari Yang Mulia Tun Teja kat Radio24! But that took my breath away. The simple words on the card. I was never much of a Sejarah Melayu type, but I'm beginning to enjoy the Hang Tuah-Teja love affair.

Hmm.......wonder how the next bouquet would look like.....hahahhahhaahh!

Roses Are Red, My Love...

As many couples can attest to, arguments are part and parcel of being in a relationship. If I were to get a dollar for each time I fight and argue with my boyfriends (from back then till now), I won't have to work! I'd be set for life! Seriously I'm talking Tan Sri Azman Hashim loaded! Anyway, back to the point at hand, last Friday, had an argument with my boyfriend, but this time it was different. After an apology session at Secret Recipe (he was apologizing but of course I also share part of the blame; I can be somewhat stubborn at times!), he excused himself to go to the gents. I did not think anything of it, I just continued sitting at Secret Recipe, sulking. Then he came back about ten minutes later and placed a bouquet of pink flowers in front of me. Apa lagi, cair on the spot lah! And he had this cute grin on his face, and also he was singing a verse of this song:

Roses are red my love,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet my love,
But not as sweet as you....

Perempuan mana yang boleh nak keras hati lagi after all that?!?!?! I would have had to be a man not to cair at that gesture! Plus the flowers were a lovely shade of pink, my favourite colour, and the wrapping was also pink and yellow, very girly, very romantic, very cheesy but it worked! Cliches are cliches for a reason; because they work! And I'm a sucker for cliches! The flowers were lovely and his sincerity at apologizing just touched my heart to a point I just couldn't stay angry at him. So there we were, walking around One Utama, with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. He knew I felt somewhat segan, but he was milking the situation, I kept saying let's go back to the car, and he was insisting that we still walk around. "Jom lah tengok kedai ni pulak!" "Eh, what do they have here?!? Ada display best lah!"


So anyway, to sum it up, what started out to be a sucky weekend because of the fight ended up great after all. Loved the flowers and then the next day we had high-tea at Hilton, PJ, then drove around looking for a shoe store and then just spending time enjoying each other's company. I don't usually blog about what I do on a daily basis, but this time around I can't help it. As I look at the bouquet of flowers now sitting in a vase on my desk at work, I can't help but blog about it. Sometimes life hands you a load of crap, but sometimes it hands you pink colored roses that makes all the crap worthwhile!

Part-Time Lover

Was driving to work this morning, the radio was tuned to Best104, and this song came on. It sounded catchy enough and then I started paying attention to the lyrics. It sounded oddly familiar, a little bit exaggerated though but still the basic sense of familiarity was apparent...

Separuh Masa - The Lima

Dulukan telah diberitahu
Jangan mengganggu di hujung minggu
Nanti dia akan tahu
Rahsia engkau dan aku

Kita sudah sama setuju
Berjumpa hanya bila perlu
Kerana kita sudah punya teman istimewa

Kuhanyalah kekasih separuh masa
Separuh lagi cinta untuk dia
Janganlah kau meminta lebih daripada itu

Kuhanyalah kekasih separuh masa
Dari isnin sampai jumaat sahaja
Janganlah pula kau mengharap
Berdampiran selalu denganku

Jika kau tak terima khabar
Bererti dia ada di sini
Jangan gatal meninggalkan pesan
Curiga dia nanti

Tak perlu kata-kata manja
Itu sudah sering kudengar
Dari dia yang masih tidak tahu
Adanya dirimu

Kuakui ada sesuatu antara kita
Tetapi kutahu bukan seperti biasa

Had A Blonde Moment And This Was The Result...

This is my desk at work. Yes, it's pink. Yes, it looks like Pink Panther threw up on it. But that's just the way I like it. Recently a colleague added to my pink collection by giving me a pink whistle! Hahahah! Guess I'm officially the Pink Panther of Radio24!

It took quite a few shopping trips and a little bit of house raiding at home to put this desk together! But it was fun. And at least now I kinda have something to look forward to at work.

And there sits Pink Panther, the mascot to the whole pink fiasco. Someone likened my desk to that of Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)! Hahah! I guess all that's missing is the pink feathered boa thingy!

Pink Is In!

I woke up today and decided to revamp my blog. Since pink is the color of choice at the moment, I decided to paint my blog pink too. Call me superficial, call me a dumb blonde, call me whatever you want. I can kick your ass all the way to kingdom come and I still enjoy pink. It's a cute color, it's a simple color. It's a color that brings you back to your childhood, where things were either pink or blue, depending on which reproductive organ you were born with!

Up next, I shall upload the pictures of my desk at work. Now that will surely blow you away!

I've decided to try blogging on a more frequent basis now. Instead of the occasional posting once every six months. Things are rather quiet at work today. Nothing new to bitch about, nothing much to rant about. Either that or the menstrual stress is slowly flying away. Until next month then! But there are birdbrains all around all the time. So it's not really dependent on the monthly women cycle thing. Birdbrains will continue to plague my existence for as long as they breathe the same air that I do.

Thank God for a certain job hopping dudette at work who makes things a lot better at times; in other words, bitching buddy! But we're not all that bad. We don't just bitch because we have nothing better to do, or because we think we're better than everyone else. Come on, sometimes it's just pure common sense. How difficult is it not to cross our paths? We are not super-demanding people. We don't set our standards so high it's totally out of reach. COMMON SENSE! That's all we want!

Bullshit!

It's that time of the month, so pretty much anything and everything would annoy me at the moment. It is at times like this that people around me had better be on their best behaviour. I can't seem to understand why a certain individual at my workplace is somehow unable to converse quietly over the phone. I don't mind if it's just short calls once in a while. But she is on the phone almost 95% of the time. And the way she talks just irks me because I don't care about her conversation however I have no choice but to accept the input of what she's saying or rather gossipping about because I just can't tune her out. I mean keep it down, for crying out loud. I don't know who's about to give birth, I don't care if someone is moving back to Timbuktu, I don't care if an old colleague is buying a house in Guatemala, I just don't care! So to all of you out there who work in an office surrounded by people, keep it down when you're on the phone!

Another thing that crossed my path and is annoying the hell out of me today is the phrase Pengurup Wang! I'm wondering what on earth is the root word for Pengurup?!?!!? Is it kurup? Or urup? Yurup? What the hell?!??! Seriously DBP, what do you guys get paid for? Sitting on your pretty laurels and not do anything else? Come up with informasi as the Malay word for information and then go on a 5-hour tea break?!?!?! I mean, come on! Seriously, that's not even trying. Hardly! And now with the PPSMI shit going on. I agree with Dr. M, in the future, Malaysians will become stupid. And of course don't even let me get started on the new ruling saying that from now on, all TV productions are to be either in complete Malay or in complete English. No more mixing of the two languages. We're in Malaysia for pete's sake! In the words of Douglas Lim, "go to the mamak and try lah ordering nasi lemak and teh tarik in English!!!!!!!!"

Tak habis-habis dengan ruling bodoh! They think they sit up there, high and mighty, and we the minions will have to adhere to their whims and fancies! Get real, go out and see Malaysia as we truly are!

Bullshit lah!